


You're My Drug

by ahopper84



Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Biting, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Fluff, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Recreational Drug Use, Sibling Incest, Slash, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-05 14:51:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14046657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahopper84/pseuds/ahopper84
Summary: You take me to heaven from deeper than hell ever dugAnd you fly me higher than a trip on a magical rugConfessions unravelYou bang with your gavel





	1. Chapter 1

I giggled at the cartoons on the screen and lifted the pipe to my lips. This was the best. The first show of the tour had gone great. I wasn't sure about my solo; I felt a little awkward just pacing back and forth on the stage, but the fans seemed to enjoy it so I must've been doing something right. But the rest of it had been awesome. And now, thanks to one of the local roadies, I had my own stash of weed. I'd smoked up before, but this was the first time I had some of my own. 

My brothers didn't know I smoked, and I kinda wanted to keep it that way. That's why I had a few sticks of incense burning on the table next to me, and why there was a towel shoved under the door to the back lounge. It wasn't a great plan, but it was the best I could come up with.

“Hey Zac, you awake back there?” Tay's voice came from the hall.

“Shit,” I cursed quietly, scrambling to hide my pipe and lighter. “Um, yeah just… gimme a sec.” Once my stuff was out of sight I got up and kicked aside the towel so I could open the door. 

“Hey,” I said, trying to lean casually against the doorframe. The room was swaying just a little, or maybe it was me.

“I'm fucking bored,” Tay whined, and I rolled my eyes.

“Sounds like a personal problem.”

“You want some company? Ike's on the phone with his girlfriend.” Tay made a face and I giggled; our oldest brother was definitely the mushy one, spouting enough “I love you”s to make anyone gag. I glanced behind me, double-checking that I'd hidden the evidence. I kinda wanted to just smoke, but I was already decently high, and I liked hanging out with Tay.

“Um, yeah, okay. I was just watching tv anyway.” I stepped aside and let Tay pass me, then closed the door.

“Incense?” Tay looked at the burning sticks, then look at me with a questioning expression.

“I just like it,” I shrugged and sat down. I really hoped that was all he could smell as he sniffed the air, but the way his eyebrows rose, I wasn't sure.

“Yeah, it's nice I guess. What scent is it? Smells kinda familiar, but I can't place it.”

“Um, I forget…” I rested my hand on the arm of the couch, glancing at the spot between the cushions where I'd hastily shoved my stuff. “They're running a Ren and Stimpy marathon,” I said, nodding at the tv.

“Oh cool.” Tay grinned and sat next to me, but blinked as soon as he sat down. He looked down at the couch, his face scrunched. “That's weird,” he said, reaching down.

“Wh-what is?” I panicked, but I didn't know what to do.

“Feels like there's something under the cushion.”

“Oh, it's probably nothing. Maybe a busted spring or-” Before I could finish, he was digging around, and I could see on his face the instant he found it. His eyebrows shot up as he pulled out the blue glass pipe. His eyes shot to me.

“Zac, what the hell-”

“Don't tell,” I snapped. “Please?” 

Tay looked at me, then the pipe, then me again. I felt like such a dumbass. Why hadn't I just shoved it in my pocket?

“Zac, is this… are you smoking pot?”

“I… um… no?” I said with a sheepish grin, but he just rolled his eyes. 

“You know Mom and Dad would murder you if they found out.”

“Like they'd murder you if they knew how drunk you got at that party a couple weeks ago?” I stared him down. If he wanted to play the blackmail game, I had way more on him than he did on me. He scowled, but looked at the pipe again.

“How long have you been smoking?”

“I dunno,” I shrugged, dropping my shoulders from their tensed position. “Not that long. I just… like it. Feels good.” I giggled a little at my own words. “You ever smoked?”

“Not pot,” Tay said, shaking his head. He'd picked up a bit of a cigarette habit lately, not very much but he always had a pack on him. “Thought about it, but just never really felt like it, you know?”

“I guess.”

“Are you gonna smoke some more?” Tay passed me the pipe and I took it, looking at the mostly-full bowl.

“That was my plan, but I don't have to.”

“I don't wanna stop you,” Tay said with a shrug. I glanced at him, then at the pipe.

“Do you… wanna try it?” I licked my lips. The idea of smoking with Tay was something I'd thought about. We used to do everything together, but lately that'd been changing. Everyone said it was because I was still only fifteen, but I didn't think it made that big a difference.

Tay looked at me and chewed in his bottom lip. He reached up to play with his necklaces.

“I dunno. Maybe.”

“Okay. Well, do you mind if I…?”

Tay shook his head. His eyes followed my hand as it reached between the cushions, but I frowned when I couldn't find my lighter.

“What's wrong?”

“Lighter must've fell down. Damn.”

“Oh, here.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his own lighter. Our fingers brushed a little as I took it from him.

“Thanks.” I lifted the pipe to my lips and flicked the lighter to life, holding the flame over the greens. I felt Tay's eyes on me as I took a deep hit, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling.

“Where'd you get it, anyway?”

“Roadie hooked me up,” I said before taking another hit. “Not much, but enough to last a little while.”

I took another couple hits, my attention drawn back to the tv. I giggled again as Ren chewed Stimpy out for something. I could feel Tay watching me though. Sure enough, when I glanced over he was staring at me, or rather the pipe. I smirked.

“You sure you don't wanna try some?”

“I said maybe, not no,” he huffed. His cheeks were a little pink, and I chuckled.

“Here,” I said, holding the pipe up to my lips again. “Like this.” I took a hit slowly, showing him how to hold it. I held my breath as I passed the pipe and lighter over, waiting until he had them to exhale. I grinned as I watched him take his first hit, and laughed when he started coughing.

“Fuck, that burns,” he croaked as he tried to catch his breath. “How do you stand that?”

“It's not that bad. You just gotta, like… open your throat. So it doesn't hit the back as hard.”

He gave me a weird look, then took another hit. I watched the muscles in his neck shift, and this time he was able to hold the smoke for a few seconds, only coughing a bit at the end.

“Thanks,” he said, passing me the pipe. We passed it back and forth a few times, until the bowl was down to just ash and resin.

“How you feel?” I asked. Tay looked at me, his eyes half-closed and a lazy smile in his lips.

“Pretty fucking good,” he said, nodding. “Thanks for sharing.”

“Sharing is caring,” I laughed. I let out a sigh and fanned myself. “Kinda warm back here.”

“It's cuz we've got the room sealed off. I think the AC isn't as good back here.” He sat forward and peeled his tank top off. “That’s better,” he sighed with a satisfied grin.

“Um… yeah…” I tried to focus on the tv, but having my half-naked brother sitting next to me was a little distracting. 

“You should take yours off, too.”

“I'm good,” I said, even though I was starting to break a sweat.

“Suit yourself. Hey, mind if we switch over to MTV?”

“Here ya go,” I said, passing him the remote without looking over. He flipped through the channels until we found his station. There was some punk band playing, it wasn't anyone I recognized immediately but they were alright. I fanned myself with the neck of my shirt, and heard Tay chuckle.

“If you're hot you should take it off.”

“Good life lesson there, Tay.” 

“Didn't mean it like that, but… yeah.” He smirked and ran a hand through his hair. I played with the hem of my shirt for a second. I didn't really like the way I looked without a shirt on. I still had a lot of baby fat around my stomach, and sitting next to my twig of a brother didn't do my self esteem any favors. But my physical discomfort won, and I pulled my t-shirt over my head and tossed it aside.

“You got any more?” Tay asked.

“Yeah, should I pack another bowl?”

“If you want,” Tay shrugged, but the look on his face told me *he* definitely wanted. I got my bag from out of my pocket and packed the pipe, then offered Tay the first hit.

“Thanks, man. This is pretty cool of you, ya know.”

“Taylor Hanson thinks I'm cool. I can die happy.” I kept a straight face for a second before giggling. We passed the pipe until it was spent. By that time I was fully baked, my mind in a comfortable haze. One thing I loved about being high was how my senses seem heightened. Food tasted like the finest gourmet; every song was a symphony. My sense of touch was just as affected, if not more, the texture if the couch, or my jeans, or even my own skin fascinating.

I put a hand to my chest, my nerves tingling. I felt a spark, a pleasureable little shock that made me smile. I absently brushed my fingers back and forth, scratching lightly.

“Oh hey, Silverchair,” Tay said as the next video came on. “Their CD is really good.”

“Mhm.” I tuned Taylor out as I stated at the screen. The lead singer stared into the camera, and it like he was staring straight at me. He was one of those painfully beautiful people, the kind you're attracted to but could never actually picture yourself with. 

That didn't stop me from trying, though. I hadn't told anyone, but I was starting to realize I might not be as into girls as my brothers. Age had nothing to do with it, either. I'd had plenty of sexual thoughts, I'd jerked off enough to know I was well past the cooties stage. It just wasn't girls that got me off.

I smirked and let my mind wander, coming up with this or that scenario where the blue eyed blonde on the tv was singing to me, talking to me. Doing other things to me. I was vaguely aware that I was still stroking my chest, but I didn't see any reason to stop. It felt good, and I could always pretend it was him doing it instead. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, giving in to the fantasy. With one substitution that no one ever needed to know about.

“Um, Zac?”

“Hm?” I murmured, my eyes still shut

“Do you want me to, like… go?”

“No? Why?” I scrunched my nose and looked over. Tay's cheeks were red, and his knee bounced nervously.

“You just seem like… like you might need some...alone time…”. He cleared his throat and looked away, but not before his eyes flickered down my body for half a second. It took me a moment to realize why, but when I glanced down, it was painfully obvious.

I was stiff as a board, my pants tented in a way that left no other explanation.

“Oh. Shit. Um… sorry?” I chuckled and crossed my legs. The mental fog was keeping me from being too bothered, but apparently Tay was embarrassed enough for both of us.

“So yeah, I'll just…” He got up, but wavered in his feet. “Woah. Shit hit me hard…”

“You don't have to go. I mean, you can if you want, but I'm not kicking you out.”

“You sure?” He stared at me, biting his lower lip.

“We never get to hang out anymore,” I said, pouting. A little manipulation never hurt anyone, and I really didn't want him to leave yet.

“Okay…” He sat back down, and I smiled. “Looks painful,” he said after a second, then blushed harder. “Not that I was looking.”

“I didn't even really notice. I'm usually at least halfway there most of the time, especially when I'm stoned. Someone told me weed can do that, but hey, there's way worse side effects than just being permanently horny, right?”

“I don't know… Sounds kinda like torture. The good kind, but still.”

Talking about it was drawing my attention to the problem. The pressure was like a background hum, but building in volume. I brushed my fingers over my chest again, my other hand resting on my knee.

“So who were you thinking about?” Tay smirked, his cheeks still a bit pink. “Cuz it kinda looked like you were really into that video.”

“Only cuz he looks like you,” I said in a sweetly teasing tone. “Just not quite as sexy.” I expected Tay to tell me to fuck off, but he just blinked.

“Um… you think I'm… sexy?”

“I've got eyes.” I shrugged. Was it that surprising? 

“Well yeah, but… just didn't think you saw me that way.”

“Yeah, right. Anyone would have to be either blind or a unic not to see how hot you are. You know that.”

“For the record, you're… not so bad yourself.” 

I looked over, one eyebrow cocked. He had to be messing with me. But he just sat there, staring at the floor. He was blushing again, and glancing my way.

“Bullshit. I'm all… pudgy.”

“You're all muscle is what you are.” His eyes rose to my arms. If course I had muscles there, I was a drummer. Curious, I flexed; his eyes widened and he bit his lip hard enough to make himself wince.

“Can I ask you something?” His eyes darted to meet mine for a second, then he looked away again. “How, um… how big are you?”

“How big am-- oh. Oh. Um… I dunno. Never, like, measured. Why, have you?”

“Once, on a dare.”

“Why do you wanna know?” I smirked, enjoying the hell out of making him flustered. He shrugged and played with his necklaces.

“Just curious. You, um… look pretty… big,” he mumbled.

“Do I?”

“Not that I was, you know, looking that much.”

“It doesn't bother me,” I said, shrugging. The conversation was keying me up even more than I already had been, and my fingers twitched with the urge to adjust myself. “So how'd you measure up?”

“Eight. Little over.”

“Bullshit.”

“For real.” Tay grinned and leaned back. I couldn't help glancing down, and was only a little surprised to see he was hard too. Not as bad as me maybe, but then his pants were tighter.

“So?” He said, and my eyes rose to his face. “I told you, now you gotta tell me.”

“I told you, I don't know.” I looked down, then grinned. “I could… show you?”

Tay let out a breath, his eyes wide and his cheeks red.

“Not like-- I'm not gonna whip it out. I just meant I can like… you know… grab. Through my jeans.”

“Oh. Um.” Taylor looked at me, then away. “I… guess that works. If you want. I don't really… *need* to know.”

“No, it's cool. I don't mind.” If it would give me an excuse to get even a tiny amount of relief, I was all for it. Taylor stared at the wall, until I cleared my throat. “You gonna look, or…?”

“Oh, right. Um, yeah. Okay.” Tay nodded, then turned to face me. I waited until his eyes drifted down, then I wrapped my fingers around the bulge in my jeans. I tried to grip as close to the base, so he could fully see. As soon as I felt the pressure I had to bit my lip to keep quiet.

“Wow,” Tay breathed. “That's… I mean, I know it's through the jeans, but you're kinda… thick.”

“Hm? I guess.” I gripped myself, trying to fit my fingers around, and I couldn't.

“Did you want to, um… see? Like that, I mean.”

I looked over and nodded. I licked my lips as I let my eyes trail down his neck, chest, stomach, before finally settling in the tent in his jeans. He wrapped his slender fingers around the bulge, giving a good view if the outline. I was thicker, but he was definitely longer from what I could tell.

“Fuck, dude,” I laughed. “You need two hands to jack off, or what?”

He didn't say anything, but smiled and shrugged. I squeezed my dick again and my toes curled. I was so hard it hurt. If things got any worse, I might have to kick him out after all.

“Hey Zac?” Tay said quietly. His hand was still gripping the bulge in his jeans, his thumb moving up and down slowly. “Can I… see?”

“You mean…” I swallowed hard and shivered. Tay glanced up at me through his lashes. I bit my lip and nodded; my fingers flew to my zipper. Tay's eyes stayed on mine as I tugged my jeans open. I breathed a sigh of relief as my cock sprang free. 

“You can look,” I breathed. I wrapped my hand around my dick and gave it a squeeze. Tay gave a tiny nod, then looked down, his eyes going wide. His jaw hung open a little, and I saw him tighten his grip. Something about having him stare at me like that made my cock twitch, and I gave it one slow stroke.

Taylor licked his lips, his eyes still glued to my dick. “Do… do you want to s--”

“Yeah,” I answered before he was even done asking. I needed to. I was more turned on than I could ever remember being, and I couldn't even deny the reason. Tay nodded and undid his jeans, tugging them down a little once they were open.

My mouth watered at the sight of his cock. It was every bit as long as he'd said, his hand barely covering half of it.

“Fuck.” I gave myself another stroke, and he did the same. I looked up to meet his eyes, and his expression was so full of lust it made me shake. “You weren't kidding.”

“Nope.” He smirked, then looked down again. “You’re way thicker than me.”

“Yeah well you're longer.” I gave another slow stroke, and bit back moan. Tay's eyes flickered up to mine for a moment at the sound.

“You don't have to stop,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“You just wanna watch,” I teased, but honestly the thought of him watching me jerk off was a major turn-on.

“Yeah,” he breathed, and it took me a second to realize it was an actual response. “Is… is that okay?”

“Fine by me,” I said, my voice shaking a little. I started stroking myself, going torturously slowly. I liked to tease myself, to build up the suspense until I couldn't stand it anymore longer.

“You can, too. Watch, I mean. I mean, if you don't mind me… Up to you.”

I'd never seen Tay fumble over his words like that, and it was a huge ego boost that I could get him so worked up.

“Can I?” He asked, looking up, his hand stilling.

“You're asking my permission to jack off?” Normally Tay had serious control issues, but something about him giving me the choice, the power… I liked it.

“Do it.” I surprised both of us with how… dominant my tone was. Tay's eyes widened a fraction, but he started stroking himself. I watched him slide his hand up and down his cock, and mirrored the action.

“Fuck.” Tay moaned softly, biting his lip hard. His other hand grasped at the empty space between us, his fingers digging into the leather of the couch.

“Does it feel good?” I asked, and he nodded. I wanted to hear him say it, though. “Tell me.”

“S-so fucking good.” He sped up just a little and bit his lip again, stifling a moan.

“Don't. I wanna hear.”

He stared at me, one eyebrow twitching up slightly. But he released his lip from between his teeth and moaned again, a little louder.

“Fuck, Tay…” I gripped myself harder, my hips rocking with every stroke. “You like watching?”

“Mhm.”

For a couple minutes the only sound was our breathing, punctuated every few seconds by a moan.

“Zac?”

“Yeah?” 

Tay stared at me, his cheeks red, his eyes half-closed. “Nevermind,” he said after a second.

“No, what is it?”

“It's nothing.” Tay looked away, sucking on his lower lip.

“What do you want, Tay?” I had a feeling I knew, or at least I hoped I did.

“Taylor. Tell me.” I practically growled the command, and Tay's eyes snapped back to mine. I really didn't understand where this power trip was coming from, but I kinda liked it. From the way he moaned and whimpered, apparently so did Tay.

“It… it's bad,” he whined.

“We're already being bad. Might as well go for broke.” I smirked, and the corner of his lips curled up a tiny bit.

“I… I want…”

“Say it,” I urged. Taylor closed his eyes and licked his lips.

“I want to touch you.”

“Oh, fuck…” My hips jerked and my cock twitched. “Get over here.”

Tay looked at me, his eyes wide. “Wh-what?”

“Did I stutter?”

Tay stared at me for another second, then shifted closer. I was shaking as I felt his body heat, his hips brushing mine. I gave myself one more stroke before letting my hand fall away. Tay reached out with his left hand, his right still gripping his own dick. As soon as I felt his fingers on me I moaned low.

“Motherfucker… Shit, Tay.” 

He smirked a tiny bit as he wrapped his hand around me as much as he could. The contrast of his delicate fingers surrounding my girth made me moan again. And when he gave a painfully slow stroke, I growled.

“Is that… good?”

“Yeah.”

“You're so big, Zac.”

“You like it?”

Tay's eyes darted up to mine, then back down. “Yeah.”

“You ever done this before?”

He didn't say anything, but the way his blush deepened was answer enough. So it was true, my brother liked dick. At least I wasn't the only one.

“What else have you done?”

“Almost everything,” Tay whispered.

“Almost, huh? Kinda vague… Tell me what you've done.”

“I've… fingered a chick. And eaten her out. And… “ He closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed hard. “I've given head.”

I kept an eye on him as I started to move my hand towards him. He followed the motion with his eyes, letting his dick slip from his hand just in time for me to replace it with mine.

“Zac,” he moaned, and I echoed the sound. “I've had sex, too.”

“Girl or guy?”

“Both.”

“Sounds like everything to me.” I gave his cock a stroke and he whimpered.

“I haven't, um… I mean the one guy I was with, I fucked him, but…”

“You haven't been fucked?” I suggested, and he nodded. 

“I haven't either. I've fucked a girl though, and gotten head from both.”

“Really?” Tay's eyebrows rose. “I didn't even know you were into… that.”

“That meaning sex, or guys?” I asked with a smirk. I stroked him a little faster and he moaned, his eyes rolling back.

“B-both, I guess.” He looked down and watched himself stroking me. His touch was so different from mine, his hands softer, his grip not as rough. He was even better at teasing than I was, letting up on the pressure with every upward stroke. When he swiped his thumb over the head, swirling it in the drop of precum, I growled.

“You're really good at that,” I told him.

“You are too. So fucking good.”

He licked his lips, his brow furrowed. He looked so sexy, but at the same time so beautiful. I still wasn't totally convinced this wasn't just a hallucination brought on by a bad batch of laced weed. But even if it was, I was fully down to take it as far as it'd go.

“Come here,” I said, not really trying to order him. Much. He eyed me for a moment, then leaned closer. I reached my free hand behind his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair and pulling him even closer. 

He gasped when his lips meet mine, but he didn't try to pull away. It only took a moment for him to react, moaning against my mouth and parting his lips for me. My head was swimming as I kissed him deep, doing what I'd dreamed of ever since the idea of kissing stopped being gross.

His hand stroking me sped up, and I matched speed with mine. I growled against his mouth and felt him shiver in response. When I pulled back just far enough to bite at his lower lip he gasped, his free hand pressing against my chest. I kissed and nibbled a path sideways across his neck, sucking on his earlobe.

“Fuck, Zac!” He moaned and writhed against me, angling his hips to lean against me more.

“These need to come off,” I said, tugging at his jeans. “Now.”


	2. Chapter 2

“These need to come off,” I said, tugging at his jeans. “Now.”

He pulled back and nodded. He swayed a little when he stood up, but managed to peel off his jeans. I lifted my hips and nudged mine off as well, then put a hand on Tay's hip.

“C’mere.” I maneuvered him so he was straddling my lap, then wrapped my hand around his cock and pulled him down for another kiss. He let out a soft moan, but didn't touch me. When I pulled back to ask why, his cheeks were red.

“Zac,” he panted. “I wanna… can I…”

“Whatever it is, yes. This is all so good, Tay.”

He smirked a little and nodded, then leaned down to kiss my neck. I leaned my head back, watching him with widening eyes as he slid down to the floor, kissing his way down. When he finally wrapped his hand around me, my jaw was hanging.

“Always said you had a pretty mouth,” I chuckled. Tay scowled, but with a hint of a smirk. He kept his eyes on me as his tongue flicked out, barely brushing against the tip of my cock. “Oh fuck…”

He swirled his tongue, teasing me. I almost wanted to hate him for it. Slowly he let my head slip past his lips. I let out a low growl; I'd gotten head a couple times before, but it'd never felt this good. He moaned, his eyes rolling back as he worked his way down. 

“Fuck… That's it…” 

I felt him open his throat, and then my cock was all the way in. I let out a breath, reaching down and gripping a handful of his hair.

“Holy shit, Tay…”

He pulled back, panting for breath but grinning. “Guess I don't have a gag reflex.” 

“Guess not.” I gave his hair a tug and he whimpered, but leaned down and took my cock back in his mouth. It took him less time to get all the way down, and before long he was bobbing his head. He knew exactly what to do, swirling his tongue, sucking, swallowing… I was seeing stars before long. I tugged his hair, nudging him back.

“Fuck, dude. Better stop now if you want anything else.”

He blinked, his nose scrunched for a second, until realization set in.

“Anything… else?”

I shrugged and ran my fingers through his hair. “Already going to hell. Might as well make it a good trip. I mean, if this is all you wanna do, that's fine. But… if you wanna do… more…”

“Like… like what?” 

I pulled Tay close again and bit at his ear.

“You said you've never been fucked before, right? You want to?”

“Oh fucking fuck…” Tay moaned, his whole body quaking. I chuckled and traced his jaw with my tongue, coming around and nipping at his lips.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” I kissed his neck some more, choosing a spot to suck on. It was a risky, dumb move leaving a hickie, and rational-zac knew that. I was too far gone to care though, and a tiny bit of me wanted to mark him, to prove this was real.

He gasped and panted as I continued to suckle his flesh. “Marking your territory?” 

“Maybe I am.”

He was silent for a moment, and I pulled back. I could see the question in his eyes, even through the combined haze of lust and weed. He didn't say anything, but the corner of his mouth turned up a fraction. I pulled him close for another hungry kiss. We could worry about what all of this meant later. 

I trailed a hand up and down his back, dragging my nails a bit. He whimpered and squirmed, and I pulled him into my lap again. He slid forward until I could feel our dicks pressing against each other. I reached my other hand around to his back as I ducked down to kiss his neck again.

“Fuck, Zac… So good…” 

I slid my hands down to cup his ass and he practically squealed, leaning his head on my shoulder. He slid his hands between us to grip my cock again. I pushed and pulled him as he jerked me, the two of us moaning and kissing any bit of skin we could reach. 

He pulled back a little to watch me as I spit in my hand, then brought it back to his ass. I pressed my slick finger against him, massaging in little circles. He moaned low in his throat, his whole body trembling. When my fingertip slipped inside him he closed his eyes and dug his fingers into my shoulders.

“Is that okay?” I barely recognized my own voice, low and husky. He nodded and bit his lip hard.

“Just… go slow.”

I nodded, and slid my finger in a little deeper. He was so tight and hot. I felt like I could cum just from fingering him; I couldn't even imagine what he'd feel like wrapped around my cock. I thrust my finger in and out slowly, rubbing his back with my other hand.

“Zaaac…”

“You want more?” I pressed the tip of a second finger against him.

“Please…” He kissed my neck and bit my shoulder. I let the second digit slip in with the first, and both of us gasped. I raked my nails down his back as I began to pump both fingers into him.

“Zac! Oh fuck, oh fuck…”

“Feels that good, huh?” I chuckled and bit his neck, finding the same spot as before and sucking hard. He grabbed my shoulders and rocked his hips against my hand, grinding our erections together. 

“Yeah? You really want it bad, huh?”

“So bad… Need to feel you…”

“Yeah, me too…” I tangled my fingers in his hair again. “I've been thinking about this for so long, Tay.”

“H-have you?” 

“Mhm.” I gave his hair a tug, pulling his head further to the side. “I know you've caught me looking,” I whispered between bites.

“I… I thought I was just… seeing things… Wanted this too…” Tay was barely able to string his words together. Every thrust of my fingers made him unravel just a little more, and I couldn't get enough. I pressed a third fingertip against him.

“Wanted what? Tell me, Tay.” I teased him, the tip of my finger barely beginning to slip in.

“Oh my god… I want you to fuck me, Zac. I've been wanting your cock for so fucking long. Please, Zac. Just… fucking please.”

I'd never seen Taylor beg like that before. It was amazing. As I pushed all three fingers into him he cried out, biting his lip so hard I was afraid he'd actually break skin. I wasted no time thrusting, twisting and curling my fingers. He'd long ago stopped touching my dick but I didn't care. I almost didn't even care about getting off at all, if I could just keep making Tay fall apart.

“I want it,” Tay whined, practically crying. “I need it so bad. Please Zac. Please.” He showered my neck with kisses, begging me again and again. I pulled my fingers out slowly and gripped his sides.

“Zac…” Tay looked me in the eyes; I wasn't entirely sure what I saw in his, but I liked it. I pulled him in for a deep kiss. He moaned again, softly. I pulled back and kissed his jaw, down his neck and chest as I guided him up. I reached down and gripped myself, lining up. I felt the tip of my cock press against his entrance, but held still.

“You sure you want it?” I was loving the suspense, but I also wanted one last proof that this was real. I was really about to fuck Taylor. Taylor really wanted me to fuck him. He bit his already red and swollen lip, and nodded.

“Please Zac. Fuck me.”

I leaned up and pressed my lips to his as I pushed up. I felt him tighten around me as the tip of my cock slipped inside.

“Holyshitfuck…” I panted and dug my fingers into his sides. His eyes were squeezed shut tight, and his mouth hanging open. “You okay?”

“Yeah… just… mother*fucker* you're thick.” He gave a nervous laugh and opened one eye. I let him breathe for a second, then gave a tiny thrust, then another. Taylor whimpered, but gave me a nod. I took a breath, then gave a harder thrust, my head fully slipping into him.

“Oh god...Zac…”

“Fuck, you're tight…” It was just this side of painful for me. I didn't know how Tay was able to stand it. But after a second I felt him shift against me. “Ready for more?”

“Mhm…”

I took a breath, and gave a hard thrust, another couple inches sliding in.

“Holy fuck!” He squeezed his eyes shut and bit down hard on my shoulder. I growled, and he moaned I response, his back arching.

“Sorry we don't have any lube,” I said, spitting in my hand and stroking the half of my cock not buried in Tay's ass.

“Next time.” He smirked at me, his cheeks red again. “I mean, if you want…”

“You honestly think this is gonna be a one time deal? No way.” I grinned and gave another thrust, making him moan and roll his head back. 

“Good. I don't think… anyone's gonna feel this good.” 

“Same.” I grabbed his chin and tilted his face towards me. When I kissed him, I tried to make it a little gentle, a little… romantic? I didn't know, but it felt right. He sighed and relaxed against me, and I felt a pull in my chest. I didn't want to worry about the emotional shit yet though. I bit at his lower lip, waiting until he was looking me in the eye to thrust the rest of the way in.

I held him still, one hand running up and down his back as he shook. I could practically see the waves of pleasure crashing over him, rolling from head to toe and back again. His mouth hung open in a silent moan, and one eye twitched. 

“You okay? I'm not hurting you, am I?”

“No… just… holy *fuck* you feel so fucking good, Zac. I can't even… just..  
. Fuck.” He let out a nervous laugh, and I smiled. It felt good being able to make him feel so good. Not that he didn't feel fucking amazing, because of course he did, especially when he started rocking his hips.

“Yeah? You ready?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

I pulled back, lifting him off me slowly. He shivered, and I moaned against his throat. It felt unlike anything I'd ever experienced, even having sex with a girl. But as good as that felt, I couldn't contain the loud growling moan when I pulled him back down. Tay cried out, but nodded and ground against me. I did it again, and it felt even better than the first.

I picked up speed, my fingertips digging into his sides as I pulled him down, impaling him on my cock again and again. He threw his head back, and I took the chance to go in for another bite.   
“Fuck, Zac. So fucking good.”

“Yeah, you too. God, Tay. You look so good, you feel fucking amazing… You're so, just… perfect.”

Taylor glanced at me and shook his head. “No, I'm really not. You are. So fucking perfect.”

I stared him down. How could he think that? I wasn't perfect, not even close. I was all wrong, too goofy, too pudgy, too loud, too young. But looking in his eyes, I didn't see any of that. Did he really think that highly of me? He bit his lip, and I could tell he knew what I was seeing, even if I didn't fully understand what it meant. Did he… love me?

I reached behind his head and pulled him down, kissing him deeply. I didn't know what I was feeling, but I tried to pour all of it into the kiss anyway. I hoped the way he whimpered meant he felt it.

“Fuck me, Zac,” he panted, leaning his forehead against mine. I nodded and grabbed his ass, thrusting into him as hard and fast as I could. We both moaned shamelessly, our voices instinctively harmonizing. Like they were meant to fit together. Like *we* were meant to fit together, I couldn't help thinking.

“Fuck fuck fuck… Zac, I'm so close… Oh my fucking God please don't stop…”

“I won't, Tay. I'll go as long as you want. Anything for you.” I dragged my tongue up his neck, nipping at his jaw. But I was close too. Everything just felt too good, and I probably never would've even lasted this long if I'd been sober at the start.

“Shit...Zac, please, touch me…”

I wrapped one hand around his dick and tried to match the pace of my hips. He tossed his head back, looking like a first rate porn star. I wondered if this is what the fans imagined when he was on stage, playing like it was the greatest erotic experience of his life.

“Oh god… I'm gonna cum, Zac. Please, make me cum…”

“I'm right there with you, Tay,” I whispered in his ear, catching his earlobe between my teeth. “Cum for me.”

Tay's entire body tensed, his ass tightening around my dick like a vice. His back arched and curled, his knees jerking as he threw his head back and cried out a stream of curses. A moment later I felt his cock twitch and spasm as he shot his load all over my hand and chest. That was enough to send me over the edge after him, his name a primal growl in my throat.

He curled up against me, shaking like a leaf. I rubbed a hand up and down his back slowly, stroking his hair with my other hand. I whispered reassurances in his ear and planted soft kisses on his cheek. My heart was still thundering in my chest, but I was more worried about Tay.

“I think… you broke me,” he said finally, his head still buried against my chest. He lifted his head, and my worries disappeared when I saw the wide grin on his lips. “In a good way. The best way.”

“You're not the only one,” I said with a chuckle. We both winced as Tay lifted off me and collapsed next to me on the couch. He whimpered as he sat down, then shifted to lean on his side.

“Little sore?” I cocked an eyebrow and smirked. He shot me a glare, but smiled.

“I'll live. Probably.*

“What a way to go, though, huh?” I ran a hand through my sweat-drenched hair and reached for my t-shirt. I grimaced as I wiped the mess from my chest and stomach, then looked over at Tay.

“I'm sorry,” I said. “I should've asked, like, where you wanted it, I guess.”

“It's okay,” he said, smiling and blushing a little. “To be honest, that's kinda what I wanted anyway.”

“Oh. Okay, cool.”

“I should probably, um… ya know… bathroom…” He reached for his pants and slid them on, hesitating before standing up. He almost fell back down, but managed to catch himself. I grabbed my boxers and pulled them on, nothing bothering with jeans just yet.

“So, yeah. I'll just um… I'll be right back.”

I watched him go, then sighed and stared at the ceiling. Now that the fog was lifting, my head started to swim with thoughts. I wasn't a virgin anymore, in any sense. Neither was Tay. We'd been each other's firsts, in a way. He knew I'd been thinking of him for a while. He'd thought of me, too.

Was it just the sex, though? My answer was an instantaneous 'no’. I'd never really stopped to think about it, but now it was clear my feelings for him went beyond typical brotherly love, or even younger-sibling adoration. He was my best friend, but so much more. Everything I said and did, I always asked myself what Tay would think. I tried so hard to make him laugh, and smile, and look at me the way I looked at him.

Was that love? It felt like it, like every description of the feeling I'd ever seen or heard or sung. 

But I didn't know how Tay felt. He hadn't seemed like it was just sex for him either, but I didn't want to assume anything. I had no clue how he could ever feel that way about me. I wasn't special. I had my talents, sure, but nothing that screamed 'love me’. Then again, I'd never dared to dream I'd get to do even half of what we'd just done.

I looked up at the sound of the door. Tay stared at the floor as he came in and closed the door behind him. I couldn't read his expression as he sat next to me, a small but noticeable distance between us. Tay's hair hung in front of his eyes. I reached out to tuck it behind his ear; when I let my fingertips brush against the dark hickie on his neck, he shivered.

“Sorry,” I said, but couldn't help laughing a tiny bit.”

“Bullshit,” he answered, his smile coming through his voice. He glanced sidelong at me, chewing on his lip again. “How bad is it?”

I tilted my head and traced the mark again. “Pretty bad. Gonna take a lot of makeup to cover this.” I pressed my thumb into his skin, and he let out a soft whimper.

“And… if I don't want to cover it?” 

“Then it's pretty obvious you belong to someone. Someone that’s maybe got some aggression issues,” I added with a smirk. He turned his head slightly, the corner of his lips curling.

“I don't mind.”

“Yeah, I know you don't. Kinky freak.” I grinned, and he chuckled and hung his head again. “Not that I'm complaining. Just means we know who's the bitch in the relationship.”

Taylor blinked, and slowly lifted his head. I bit my lip; I hadn't really meant to let the 'r’ word slip. I didn't want to take it back, though. Thanks more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea.

“Zac,” Tay started, his brow furrowed. “We can't… how would we even…”

“Do you regret it?”

“No,” he said without hesitation.

“And it… it was more than just the sex. Wasn't it?” I bit my lip; this was the part I was afraid of. But again he responded without missing a beat.

“Of course it was. I…” He paused and looked away for a moment. “When I said I'd been thinking about it for a while, I didn't just mean the messing around. I meant I'd been thinking about *you* for a while. All of you.”

My heart swelled. “Tay. I thought about you too. I don't even know how long I've been wanting you. Not your body, although that's definitely on my mind a lot too,” I chuckled. “But just… you. Making you smile. Hearing what you think about stuff. Wanting you to be proud of me.”

Tay stared with wide eyes. His lip quivered, and I braced myself. Had I just ruined everything? I didn't know, but there was no going back now. I took a deep breath before laying it out on the line.

“Tay, I… I think I love you.”

He let out a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob. A few tears spilled over, rolling down his cheeks.

“I think I love you too, Zac.”

I felt my own eyes water. “Really?”

“Really.” Tay sniffled and wiped his cheeks. 

We reach out to each other at the same time,wrapping our arms around each other and kissing. When we parted he curled up next to me with his head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of his heard, and heard him sigh.

“Hey Zac?” He looked up at me, biting his lip and smirking a little. “Can we smoke some more?”

I grinned and touched his cheek. I loved the way his eyes fluttered closed and his smile widened. I loved the way his body felt curled up to my side like a big cat. But mostly, I just loved him.

“Definitely.”


End file.
